立冬，今天很温暖，想必今年的冬天都不会太冷。

终于和Kristin在学校的图书馆见面了。
但是，我好伤心。我好伤心自己是那么紧张，好伤心自己的一直以来学的都是哑巴英文。
终于明白什么叫有口难言了。
或许她是个基督徒，但我们却聊到了lesbain聊到了心爱的《The L Word》。
Oh~My God!真是完全不搭调。

今天又去到STARBUCKS。
我扬言说要去询问那个正太的手机号码，结果还是被他那个犀利的眼神所震慑住。
他很好看，特别是上一次看着他的笑容，觉得无比的阳光灿烂。
那笑容，仿佛似曾相识。

昨天是十月的最后一天，万圣节。
现在是多事之秋的第一天，The first day of Novemer。

不想再让周围的一些繁琐的事影响到自己。
fuck off! bitchs!!!

这一个月以来过得有些辛苦，不过最难得是，我知道了自己想要的是什么。
唯有坚定不移的目标才能让我熬过那漫长的瓶颈期。
哦买尬...

I go to sleep
                       Sia
when i look up from my pillow
i dream you are there with me
though you are far away
i know you'll always be near to me
i go to sleep
and imagine that you're there with me
i go to sleep
and imagine that you're there with me
i look around me
and feel you are ever so close to me
each tear that flows from my eye
brings back memories of you to me
i go to sleep
and imagine that you're there with me
i go to sleep
and imagine that you're there with me
i was wrong, i will cry
i will love you till the day i die
you were all, you alone and no one else
you were meant for me
when morning comes again
i have the loneliness you left me
each day drags by
until finally my time descends on me
i go to sleep
and imagine that you're there with me
i go to sleep
and imagine that you're there with me

楼上的一对情侣，年龄或许我比大很多。昨夜凌晨一直争吵个不停。
我困意全无，反倒是将他们的话语听的一清二楚。
世界的步伐越走越快，人们往往习惯了这种脚步，更加适应了所有的东西都快餐化。
包括我们内心的情感。

我真的很想知道自己的心到底有多深，我真的好想知道自己在想什么。
为什么做什么事总是不受控制，以至于总是让一些无比愚蠢的事诞生在了自己身上。
到底什么是信任？
或许，某天某人在一个很随意的场合对我说，你要相信我。
我真的会花一点时间去思考这句话，我会想，我真的会相信你吗？
我都不能拍着胸脯信誓旦旦的说要你相信我，我没资格。
我又可以拿什么相信你呢？

回忆太多，包袱太重。
常常想，要是能回到过去会是多么美好的一件事。但是一直都不明白过去有什么值得我留恋的？
最近才发现过去之所以美好只是因为我没有回忆这个包袱，那时候什么都没有。
我便可以愉快的生活，可以大步的向前走。
好想好想把以前的回忆全部洗干净，不再与那些纷纷扰扰纠缠。
然后，重新生活。

Hey, you once called me your baby

say it for the last time

with all your strength and meaning it this time



Hey, you once promised me the world

but I never asked for it

but I never asked for it



Hey, you once praised me beautiful

why I`d get get weaker

why would I get weaker



oh Please, please don`t,

I am so scared, scared you`re too perfect for me

or am I too naive for you



either way it`s too late

too late for regrets, I`m hurrrrrrt

leave me out of love

leave love out, leave me out



hey, let`s just pretend

nothing ever happened

nothing ever happened



hey, let`s just pretend

nothing ever happened

nothing nothing never ever happened

Happy birthday to myself!

Me souhaiter un joyeux anniversaire!

Toivotan itselleni hyvää syntymäpäivää!

ฉันขอให้ฉันสุขสันต์วันเกิด!

祝我生日快乐！

我用几种我喜欢的语言祝我自己生日快乐，哇咔咔... ...！

I declare that I am 20 years old ！！！！！

Thanks for your blessing!That gift is so precious which I love it very much!

之前一直用英文写博，但是发现这个行为实在是太蹩脚了，虽然一直在补习语法，但是写出来的句子实在是对不起我自习的时间。

又到秋天了，一个好季节。
我就要抓不住我19岁的尾巴了。
豆蔻年华，果真是人生最美好的时光。我该用什么关键词去形容我的青春岁月？

曾经因为幼稚，反而单纯。
曾经因为叛逆，反而自在。
曾经因为自以为是，反而无忧无虑。
因为有曾经很多很多的过错，所以有了今天大把大把的收获。
但是也因为曾经有过很多很多回忆，所以难忘。

有谁在年轻的时候没他妈的爱过人渣？有谁在年轻的时候又没他妈的做过一些愚蠢的事？
哈哈。还好，还好，一切的一切都要过去了。
我反复在思考，我到底要以一个什么样的心态去迎接我的20岁以及之后的日子。
还好，还好，我总会探索着前进。

昨天在昏昏沉沉的听课的时候，听到老师讲的一个小故事，我突然就从梦中醒来了。
老师S去参加一个朋友的婚礼。婚礼上，新郎甚是激动。花童将一个盒子送上了舞台，然后新郎将盒子在美丽的新娘以及一众观礼嘉宾面前打开。老师S要同学们猜盒子打开以后是什么。说什么的同学都有。但是没有人猜到，盒子打开后，里面飞出了许许多多只花蝴蝶。

我在想，当时那个画面。
每一份感情背后其实有着无数的美好回忆，每一份感情原来都是那么珍贵。
何必去拆散云和雨，只做背后的彩虹也很美。

Oh...My...God...
My 20 years old birthday is coming...
HaHa...

ps.不知道国庆回来之后我的Bonjour计划会不会实现,唉唉唉...

When I open my diary and I aware that maybe I owe you a lot of things.

But you make me smile during the past period.

I have to say "SORRY" to you!

I am sorry and thanks a lot!

when i hear the bird start singing
i wanna see you
hoo,hoo,do do do do do...
when i see the leaves start fallin'
i wanna see you
the only thong i'll do
don't you know
is to rush and run to you

when i hear the clock start tiching
i start to miss you
ooh...the only thing i'll do
is gonna drearn of you

wanna stay by by by you side
you are my everything
you are my only link
to the angel's wings
talk about love love and
i can't stop thinking of you
such a crazy thing
like snow fallin' in spring

(you know every morning)
when i hear the bird start singing
i wanna see you
ooh...the only thing i'll do
is to rush and run to you

when i hear the clock start tiching
i start to miss you
ooh...the only thing i'll do
is start to dream of you

i found my angel in my life
i cannot see why
i cannot see why
we can't be in love till we die

wanna stay by by by you side
you are my everything
you are my only link
to the angel's wings
talk about love love and
i can't stop thinking of you
such a crazy thing
like snow fallin' in spring

one day we'll spread our wings
you and me da,you and me da...
spread our wings do...do...do...
wannabe wannabe wanna
i wanna be.be your lover
i'll run to you...ooh...

 I WANNA BE YOUR RED GIRL!!!

I can't imagine that i was bought a popcorn and went to the theatre to watched the <Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince> which I was fond of so much for a long time.

It is undoubtedly regrettable that I do not go to movie with you.But I do it myself, I do it!

It is so surperise that you made a phone call for me just now.Perhaps I did not do any prepares to listening it.

I did not come here a long time.

Recently,there are a great mass of things happend on me,which I couldn't find any words to decribe it.The weather is becoming hot after some cool days,so I feel bad undoubtedly.

That day is holy horrible day for me.I was scared to lose my awareness untill my tears out.I couldn't believe that those things you have done for me,how imagine it?You should not have do that,which deeply hurting me despite the fact that I made a lots of mistakes.I said "it's depends on me" when we at the taxi,I just treated the words as a joke.I am sorry,for the reason that this words allowed you so angry.
I am sorry!!!

You know what?That memories made far-reaching influence in my life.I hope I can give up those memories oneday.

I hope there are not any hate emotion in my heart.

I hope you will be fine eventhough I know you don't need my benediction.

I feel so sorry for those affection that have faded away...

HOPE YOU FINE!

Suri July 27th

I know I've made a lot of  mistakes before,I know I can't find any reason as the excuse to pay for that irreparable fault,but I deeply understand that how huge mistake I made it.Whenever I am thinking about the fault I committed it ,the feelings of regert were often confused me.

I do not expect you can forgive me!I said apologize to you!

I know what is responsibility for my own mistakes!No one can get in the way what i am feeling now.What am I suffering now?I don't need you charge,don't need you forgiveness even your sympathy!

Leave me alone,pls!I just want stay with a person who truely understands me.

I still want thanks for your help and affection during this period!

Hope you fine!